This is the author's chronicle of both the periods leading to her belated diagnosis and her recovery through therapy and Buddhist spirituality. Her first suicide attempt at the age of twelve marked the onset of her struggles with drug addiction, depression, post-traumatic stress, self-harm, and chaotic romantic relationships, all of which eventually led to doctors' belated diagnosis of borderline personality disorder twenty years later. Her story is a window into this mysterious and debilitating condition, an unblinking portrayal of one woman's fight against the emotional devastation of borderline personality disorder. A haunting, intimate memoir, it chronicles both the devastating period that led to her eventual diagnosis and her inspirational recovery through therapy, Buddhist spirituality, and a few online dates gone wrong. Her story sheds light on the private struggle to transform suffering into compassion for herself and others, and is essential reading for all seeking to understand what it truly means to recover and reclaim the desire to live.