I’m thinking of ending things. Once this thought arrives, it stays. It’s always there. Always. Jake and I have a real connection, a rare and intense attachment. What has it been... a month? I’m very attracted to him. Even though he isn’t striking, not really. I’m going to meet his parents for the first time, at the same time as I’m thinking of ending things. Jake once said, 'Sometimes a thought is closer to truth, to reality, than an action. You can say anything, you can do anything, but you can’t fake a thought.' And here’s what I’m thinking: I don’t want to be here.