Alan Cole can't stand up to his cruel brother, Nathan. He can't escape the wrath of his demanding father, who thinks he's about as exceptional as a goldfish. And -- scariest of all -- he can't let the cute boy across the cafeteria know he has a crush on him. But when Nathan discovers Alan's secret, his older brother announces a high-stakes round of Cole vs. Cole. Each brother must complete seven nearly impossible tasks; whoever finishes the most wins the game. If Alan doesn't want to be outed to all of Evergreen Middle School, he's got to become the most well-known kid in school, get his first kiss, and stand up to Dad. Alan's determined to prove -- to Nathan, to the world, to himself -- that this goldfish can learn to swim. May the best Cole win.