Is your partner an adult child of an alcoholic (ACOA)? Are you struggling with your relationship? Children of alcoholics develop patterns of behavior during childhood that carry over into adult life. As children, they were taught to cover up the family secret and suppress their feelings, and as adults, no matter what's going on, they'll always tell you they're fine. Distrust, fear of abandonment, and sensitivity to criticism are all major issues for ACOAs.