I'm in trouble, Paris." Paris Minton has heard these words before. They mean only one thing: that his neck is on the line too. So when they are uttered by his low-life cousin Ulysses S. Grant, Paris keeps the door firmly closed. With family like Ulysses - "Useless" to everyone except his mother - who needs enemies?" "But trouble always finds an open window, and when Useless's mother, Three Hearts, shows up from Louisiana to look for her son, Paris has no choice but to track down his wayward cousin.