Some call me a wunderkind. Many wish to be like me. So here are my life lessons for all to follow. - Eric Cartman You know him. You love him. Now follow him. Enclosed are a dozen of Eric Cartman's most important teachings. They are designed to help you, his disciples, navigate your way through today's difficult world. Only the adoption of and strict adherence to these lessons will allow you to live your life the way Eric Cartman would want you to.