Jonty and Lion, two bachelor brothers in their seventies, live in a Nottinghamshire village. While neither is quite a hundred pence to the pound, Jonty is certainly the more eccentric. Their six-year-old nephew, Jeremy, is very fond of Lion, which makes Jonty jealous. He robs fingers from bodies in the cemetery, hoping to grow one into a little boy of his own. Enter Kelly from London, who persuades Lion to grow cannabis and make aphrodisiac spells and poisons for his witches' covens, and the stage is set for murder...