Meet Fat Billy Partridge, possibly the worst cat-burglar ever; newbie drug-dealer Brian, who probably shouldn't be taking advantage of the job's fringe benefits; Philippe, a chef with anger-management issues and lots of very sharp knives; Mr Unwin, the undertaker with the golden touch; and Lord Peter Forsyth-Leven, MSP, learning the hard way that having it all means you've got so much more to lose... Thieves, drug dealers, lap-dancers, gangsters and even the odd good guy populate these twelve interlinked tales of crime and retribution set around the festive season.